The “Real” Trump Conspiracy

Number 9 Guy from Futurama
This guy gets it.

What if, and just hear me out for a sec here… what if he knows something we don’t?

He announced, in the middle of a particularly problematic period of his presidency, that he wants to create a whole new branch of the American armed forces. A Space Force. Essentially, he wants to militarize space.

You know who else is really jazzed to get off the planet right now? Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. Why is it that the people who have the money or power to do anything are all building spaceships like they’re going out of style? What do they know that we don’t? Killer solar flares coming to carmelize the Earth? Airborne ebola? The Rapture (Biblical or Blondie)?

Time will tell, but I’m making today’s tin-foil hat double-ply, just in case.